Lots of rain, little riding, racing this weekend

My last post (from what seems like forever ago) was about how was super frustrated with mountain biking because I felt like I couldn’t improve. I had written it a little while before I posted it, and I had another post in the works about how something had recently clicked and I was beginning to feel so much better on the trails. But that was back in November. We were riding so much then that I was becoming so fast and confident. The trail features that used to trip me up I could now (mostly) effortlessly fly over. Then the rain came, and came, and so did shorter days, and all the opportunities and motivation to bike went POOF. No longer were we riding a few times a week. Instead it was once every other week if we were lucky. And no longer did I feel like I could write a post about improving because my speed was falling and so was my confidence. Because of this lack of mountain biking, I haven’t been very inspired to write any new posts (sorry!). But it’s finally starting to dry out here, days are starting to get longer again, so we’ve been able to get a little more riding in lately (two whole trail rides so far this month!). But oof those rides have been rough! My endurance and power have gone bye bye and now I’m struggling up what were once easy hills and have to build back up to longer rides without my lower back hurting (which seems to happen when my legs are weak and I put more stress on my back). Though my confidence on the trails isn’t exactly what it was, I’ve been surprised that I’m not as much as a scaredy cat as I thought I’d be. Maybe I did actually improve and all that improvement hadn’t disappeared! My brain is definitely working harder than it should be and I have to concentrate more than I would if I were riding more frequently, but I don’t feel like I’m starting from scratch.

Such a sad drop of miles at the end of the year :(

But of course I haven’t been just sitting on my butt and not exercising during all this rain (that’s not even possible unless someone really wants me to go crazy). I’ve just been forced onto my trainer, which I’ve been using as easy day workouts, causing my biking muscles further deteriorate. Also I decided I wanted to keep building up my run and so I decided to train for a half marathon. It was going to be something good to do while the trails were too wet to ride and when Alex was supposed to be gone for work. But the trails are drying, Alex’s schedule has changed, and my running has been feeling better, so I don’t think I’ll actually race the half marathon. I’m not into doing races just to do them anymore. They're expensive, stressful, painful, time consuming, and just not exciting as they used to be. Especially simple road running races where unless I’ve specifically trained for it and want to PR, or a bunch of people I know are doing it, they're just not worth it. Because why would I spend all that money and time to run a certain distance when I can do it at my leisure for free? But that’s not to say I don’t like racing, it just has to be something different and more exciting.

Which brings me to a little, local off-road duathlon that I’ll be doing this weekend. Since there aren’t that many off-road triathlons, this one fills a void in my racing heart. I did it last year and it was fun, just a 2 mile run, 7 mile bike, and 2 mile run. My first off-road multisport race! With wide, flat dirt fire roads for the bike that was the perfect opportunity to fly on my cyclocross bike. And it was the first race I’ve ever outright won! Unfortunately not the most competitive field, but still exciting to win. And now I want to win again, but this whole lack of mountain biking has really dampened my motivation to train for it. Last week I finally got to take my cross bike out for its first ride in months, and though I was surprised that I felt pretty confident on it, my legs were sore the next day after riding for only 15 minutes. That whole power and strength thing necessary in off-road riding was nonexistent in my poor little leggies. This past weekend I did the tiniest brick ever and my right knee started killing for the first few steps of my run, but luckily it went away. But I’ve been trying to do more short rides on my cross bike this week to prep a little. No matter what, this race is definitely going to be interesting physically. I’m hoping it’ll kick my butt back into training mode because I want to do a few XTERRA races this summer and I do want to actually be well prepared for those!

Hopefully I'll be as happy at the duathlon this year as I was in this picture from last year!

Shut up brain!

My brain is my biggest obstacle on the trail. I think I could be a much better rider if it would just shut up every once in a while and let me ride without constantly reminding me how scary and dangerous everything seems. Because usually it's not really that scary or dangerous, and I have the ability to do it. My brain is like an overprotective parent, but, come on, can't it just let me ride free and without worry??

Controlling your brain is almost as important as controlling your bike if you want to get better and ride more technical trails. I can't expect to get better if I constantly get off my bike and walk the sections that scare me. This isn't so much about learning to conquer your fears, but to silence your doubts. It's good to have a little bit of fear. That keeps us safe, but it's inhibiting to have so much self doubt floating around in your noggin. And it can be paralyzing. I can't tell you how many times I look at some trail feature and I'm like "Oh, that looks doable" and then I ride up to it with the full intention of doing it, but at the last second I find my hands grabbing my brakes and bringing me to a stop. I really want to do the harder stuff but my brain just locks up my body, and then I start to lose my motivation as the doubts pile up.

Getting up this little step and over the bridge took such a mental effort! It may look small in the picture, but it looked huge in my head. Look at the bottom for me actually making it over!

But just like practicing your mountain biking skills, it's good to also practice your mental skills of shutting up your overprotective brain. Here's some ways that have helped me find some quiet and confidence:

Find a cheerleader

Alex is a great balance for my overactive brain because he believes in me more than I believe in myself. The things I struggle with are a breeze for him (a note from Alex: This is only because I've spent countless hours struggling with them already), so he can show me the best way to ride something. He encourages me to ride the scary stuff and shows me how to best get through it.


Visualize yourself succeeding

This one really helps me take back control and go for it. One of my biggest challenges is that I don't feel like I have the right movements and balance for whatever obstacle I'm trying to tackle. But in reality I can do it. So if I just take a second to visualize myself succeeding (so cliche I know), then I'll feel more confident. It's not just about picturing yourself doing it, but feeling yourself doing it. And then go do it!


Repeat a little saying

Mine is "Pedal, pedal, pedal! No brakes!". It reminds me to come in with speed and don't stop. You're more than welcome to use that one or come up with your own. It helps me when Alex yells this at me while I'm attempting something for an extra reminder.


Breathe and don't think so much

This is probably one of the most helpful tips, and the one I need to remember to do more often. If I can calm myself down, take a few deep breaths, and just go for it without thinking so much about every little thing that could go wrong... Then bam! it's done and I'm past the obstacle. If you can get your brain out of the way and let your body and bike take over, then they'll know what to do out of habit and it'll be fine. Trust yourself (because you're awesome and you can do it!).


Hope these little tips help! They did for me making it over that little bridge:

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Structured vs causal training

Only in the last few years have I decided to not hire a coach for triathlon training. Pretty much since I started doing triathlon in 2011, I followed some sort of structured training plan. I loved the structure, the routine, the planning of having someone else decide what I should do. Not thinking about what workout you should do frees up a lot of time and mental space for other things and allowed me to just focus on the workouts. Also it was great having someone to hold you accountable for completing all your training.

Example of a normal week of structured training for me as seen on Training Peaks. It used to feel weird if I didn't exercise twice in a day... 

But structured training can also be very limiting and restrictive if you want to have a life beyond training and racing. If you're type A like me, and can't imagine missing a workout our or cutting one short, then you'll constantly worry how and when you're going to fit your workouts in. If you don't have much else going on in your life, then hard core training is great for filling any voids and eating up a lot of your time. Also it's great to make a goal, work towards that goal, and complete that goal. Super fulfilling way to live.

I lived this life for about six or so years and I'm very glad I did. I learned a lot about discipline when it comes to workouts. I also learned about how workouts and training should be structured. I worked with a great coach that answered all of my frantic last minute questions.

But I wasn't seeing the race results I wanted (no fault to my coach, I just don't always perform the best on race day). It was tiring mentally to work so hard for so long for such a high goal only to miss it on the day it matters. But that's racing for ya, and I respect that, but I was getting a bit burnt out on the whole train hard, race hard cycle. Also since graduating from college and leaving my tri team, going to races by myself was super lonely.

So after a foray into marathons (again lots of hard long training to just miss my goals), mountain biking found me at the perfect time when I needed something new and exciting in my exercise life. Obviously this shift to the trails came with my soon to be husband Alex, and I no longer felt I had to fill voids in my life with exercising and I had someone else's schedule to work around. So I said goodbye and thank you to my coach and switched to casual training.

My definition of casual training is probably different (more intense) from most normal people: a goal of doing at least an hour of exercise (swimming, biking, running, strength) a day and something longer on the weekends, but not worrying when I do it, if I have to shorten it, or even (gasp!) missing it. And if I have a race coming up, I still do try to structure my training to get me more race ready.

My watch doesn't like how I'm currently training! I think this has something to do with me not running much right now and it messing up it's calculations. But I'm okay with it!

This way of training is so much more freeing! And somehow I'm still doing just as well, if not better, in races. Once I got away from the structure, I could really listen to my body to see what it waned (or didn't want) to do on a given day and adjust my workout appropriately. Feeling super tired on a ride? Cut it short. Feel like running all week? Go for it? Can't make it to the pool for a month? Don't worry about it! Super busy all day? Take a rest day!

Got first place in my age group (25-29) and 6 overall female at the Myrtle Beach Xterra Triathlon in April! And I didn't even do much serious training!

With casual training, I no longer have all this stress and guilt built up around workouts. But that doesn't mean I'm any less committed to it. (I still do start to go crazy if I want to work out but can't). I'm just committed in a different way that tries to put the rest of life first before training and racing.

I believe that training and racing should make you happy and be a stress reliever, not add stress to your life. So if you find yourself in the same training-racing cycle I was in, but not feeling very rewarded, then take a step back and ask yourself why you're doing it. If the answer's not fun, then you're doing something wrong! Go out for an unstructured swim, bike run, surf, hike, whatever and enjoy the workout for itself, for no other reason than that you are having fun doing it!


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