Lots of rain, little riding, racing this weekend

My last post (from what seems like forever ago) was about how was super frustrated with mountain biking because I felt like I couldn’t improve. I had written it a little while before I posted it, and I had another post in the works about how something had recently clicked and I was beginning to feel so much better on the trails. But that was back in November. We were riding so much then that I was becoming so fast and confident. The trail features that used to trip me up I could now (mostly) effortlessly fly over. Then the rain came, and came, and so did shorter days, and all the opportunities and motivation to bike went POOF. No longer were we riding a few times a week. Instead it was once every other week if we were lucky. And no longer did I feel like I could write a post about improving because my speed was falling and so was my confidence. Because of this lack of mountain biking, I haven’t been very inspired to write any new posts (sorry!). But it’s finally starting to dry out here, days are starting to get longer again, so we’ve been able to get a little more riding in lately (two whole trail rides so far this month!). But oof those rides have been rough! My endurance and power have gone bye bye and now I’m struggling up what were once easy hills and have to build back up to longer rides without my lower back hurting (which seems to happen when my legs are weak and I put more stress on my back). Though my confidence on the trails isn’t exactly what it was, I’ve been surprised that I’m not as much as a scaredy cat as I thought I’d be. Maybe I did actually improve and all that improvement hadn’t disappeared! My brain is definitely working harder than it should be and I have to concentrate more than I would if I were riding more frequently, but I don’t feel like I’m starting from scratch.

Such a sad drop of miles at the end of the year :(

But of course I haven’t been just sitting on my butt and not exercising during all this rain (that’s not even possible unless someone really wants me to go crazy). I’ve just been forced onto my trainer, which I’ve been using as easy day workouts, causing my biking muscles further deteriorate. Also I decided I wanted to keep building up my run and so I decided to train for a half marathon. It was going to be something good to do while the trails were too wet to ride and when Alex was supposed to be gone for work. But the trails are drying, Alex’s schedule has changed, and my running has been feeling better, so I don’t think I’ll actually race the half marathon. I’m not into doing races just to do them anymore. They're expensive, stressful, painful, time consuming, and just not exciting as they used to be. Especially simple road running races where unless I’ve specifically trained for it and want to PR, or a bunch of people I know are doing it, they're just not worth it. Because why would I spend all that money and time to run a certain distance when I can do it at my leisure for free? But that’s not to say I don’t like racing, it just has to be something different and more exciting.

Which brings me to a little, local off-road duathlon that I’ll be doing this weekend. Since there aren’t that many off-road triathlons, this one fills a void in my racing heart. I did it last year and it was fun, just a 2 mile run, 7 mile bike, and 2 mile run. My first off-road multisport race! With wide, flat dirt fire roads for the bike that was the perfect opportunity to fly on my cyclocross bike. And it was the first race I’ve ever outright won! Unfortunately not the most competitive field, but still exciting to win. And now I want to win again, but this whole lack of mountain biking has really dampened my motivation to train for it. Last week I finally got to take my cross bike out for its first ride in months, and though I was surprised that I felt pretty confident on it, my legs were sore the next day after riding for only 15 minutes. That whole power and strength thing necessary in off-road riding was nonexistent in my poor little leggies. This past weekend I did the tiniest brick ever and my right knee started killing for the first few steps of my run, but luckily it went away. But I’ve been trying to do more short rides on my cross bike this week to prep a little. No matter what, this race is definitely going to be interesting physically. I’m hoping it’ll kick my butt back into training mode because I want to do a few XTERRA races this summer and I do want to actually be well prepared for those!

Hopefully I'll be as happy at the duathlon this year as I was in this picture from last year!

Regional champ?!?

A few weeks ago I got an email informing me that I am the Women Age Group 25-29 Southeast Regional Champion for XTERRA Triathlon! Meaning that I qualified for the 2018 World Championships in Maui! As exciting as this sounds, I think it deserves a big LOL in addition to feelings of success and accomplishment. I don't want to belittle it and sound all aloof, but sadly I didn't have a ton of competition at the two XTERRA races I did this past summer. Not that I didn't try hard at the races, of course I did, but due to the low numbers of women, I was more competing against myself than for age group spots.

Strangely, being someone that loves races, I'm not a very competitive person... against other people. But I am super competitive against myself. My goal for most races is to do the best that I can do, and wherever that lands me in the rankings, I'm happy with that. My feelings of accomplishment in a race come from knowing that I pushed myself to my limits and gave it my all, not necessarily that I placed in my age group or overall (but it definitely doesn't hurt!). There are too many variables to winning that it quickly gets overwhelming and stressful. Not my style anymore. I've spent too much of my time as a road triathlete worrying about races, and finally realized it's just not worth it. I do way worse at races that I stress about and way better at ones that I go into excited with no expectations except to have fun.

But if you are someone who revels in how you place (which is completely fine, you do you!), my getting the regional champ label is a good lesson in the benefits of just showing up to races -- you never know who will be there and how they'll do. Don't ever avoid races because you think there will be too many fast, competitive people. And no matter how much I say it doesn't matter to me, a podium finish is an awesome way to end a race. Getting on the podium is such a confidence booster and a great motivator. Just for me personally, I know I can get obsessed and I don't want such a consuming goal to take over my life at this point in time (maybe someday again though...).

But back to the world championships, it would be fun to go do that race mostly for the atmosphere and scenery. And to have the opportunity to toe the line with some of the world's best off-road triathletes. It would also be cool to see where I rank among them. And racing at such a cool event would make me push myself even more.

Yet when I watched recaps of their past championship races, the bike course looked a bit disappointing (aka boring). It looked like it was mostly fire and access roads (wide gravel or dirt roads) instead of single track. I know those are "off-road" and they can be challenging physically with climbs, but I'd expect a world championship race to challenge their athletes with more technical single track. Or else it's just a road tri on soft roads. I saw this year they're adding more single track, so things are changing hopefully!

Highlights from the 2017 XTERRA World Championships. Bike portion starts around 2:00. Where's the single track??

Unfortunately, racing at the world championship this year is just not possible for various reasons. Not to mention the crazy race cost ($550), getting to Hawaii with all my gear, and hotel costs, all which add up top a ridiculously expensive race vacation. I've really been liking the lower race costs of off-road tris compared to on-road ones, so it's a bit disappointing that this one is so freaking expensive.

Maybe one year I'll qualify again and the stars will align and I'll be able to go. But until then I'm very happy racing for fun and seeing where the wonderful world of off-road tris and mountain biking takes me.

Do you race to place? Or is fun your ultimate goal? Or some combination? I'd love to hear your thoughts about race motivation in the comments section!

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Flashbacks of a reformed roadie

Despite my recent love of the trails, I still do enjoy road riding and miss it a lot. I miss the freedom and peace, speeding along on an open road. Your legs carrying you as far and fast as they can while exploring areas you’d never have a reason to drive through. There was great road riding in Massachusetts where I first started biking, and surprisingly in southeastern Virginia, where I went to grad school. I especially miss my morning rides, starting just as the sun is rising, seeing a beautiful part of the day that few people do.

Unfortunately, where we live in SC, road riding is not very accessible. When we first moved there, I tried to go on rides to find a fun and, most importantly, safe route. But it was a futile search. So I’ve retired my tri bike to my trainer and my road bike has been hanging off the ceiling, out of the way. That is, until I finally had an excuse to take it down and pump up it's tires.

On Labor Day weekend, my friend invited me down to Savannah to show me some mountain biking trails and also to help her lead a road ride the next day. It was a 25 mile ride that was part of the Savannah Century Ride. Being the shortest ride of the event, it was marketed towards beginner and casual riders. A great excuse to get out on the road and explore a new city.

When we arrived to the ride in the morning, I had so many flashbacks of my past life as a roadie and realizations of where I would have ended up if I hadn’t met Alex and found mountain biking. I probably would have been one of the Lycra clad cyclist, warming up on my full-carbon speed machine, ready to drop anyone that couldn’t keep up with me. I’ve been there, done that, got the QOMs to prove it. Even though I could probably pretty easily slip back into that persona, get caught up in the road/triathlon biking culture, it just doesn’t feel right for me anymore. Not all roadies/triathletes are like this, but with me loving speed on the road and being competitive with myself, it drives me to want to ride with the fast, competitive, and not necessarily welcoming crowd.

Me in my previous life as a road triathlete at USAT Collegiate National in Tempe, AZ. Disc wheel is homemade :)

But, wow, mountain biking has changed me as a cyclist, and as an athlete as a whole. I no longer think speed is all that matters, and that stopping and trying something again means you’re weak. I no longer think I need to have a PR on Strava on every ride. I no longer care about having the lightest, fastest bike, but instead the one that makes me feel the most confident and, most importantly, lets me have the most fun. Because ultimately, as Alex taught me, mountain biking is all about playing on a bike and having fun. Learning to do things smoothly and confidently is way more important than just how fast you can do them, because in the end, learning all the proper techniques will make you a better, faster rider... and then you can have even more fun!

Okay, back to the road ride. The one we were “leading” (I had no clue where we were going since this was my first time in Savannah. I think I was more emotional support crew than leader) was a very different make-up than the longer rides of the day – lots of beginners, people on mountain bikes and hybrids, which was completely fine! They were just out there for a nice cruise along beautiful roads. I was so excited to be back on the road that I had to consciously hold myself back from taking off and leaving the group behind. But after I got into the groove of the pace, I enjoyed chatting with other riders and looking at the beautiful houses and scenery. Even road biking doesn’t have to be fast to be enjoyable!

But it does have to be relatively car free to be enjoyable. As it started getting later in the day and more cars were zooming close by us, I remembered why I haven’t gone for a road ride in over a year. As much as I’m scared of falling on the trails, I’m more scared of getting hit by a car. And that is something I cannot control and definitely not worth the risk.

Hopefully one day in the future, we'll live somewhere that has better road biking. But until then, I'm more than happy just being on the trails learning, practicing, and improving. It was fun being back on the road for the day, but I'm not sure I fit in with roadie/triathlon culture anymore with its competitive nature. But there's so much to mountain biking culture that I've barely scratched the surface, so not sure where I fit in with that either. But really who cares where you fit in? All that matters is that you're having fun with it. And I can say that for surely sure I am!


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Structured vs causal training

Only in the last few years have I decided to not hire a coach for triathlon training. Pretty much since I started doing triathlon in 2011, I followed some sort of structured training plan. I loved the structure, the routine, the planning of having someone else decide what I should do. Not thinking about what workout you should do frees up a lot of time and mental space for other things and allowed me to just focus on the workouts. Also it was great having someone to hold you accountable for completing all your training.

Example of a normal week of structured training for me as seen on Training Peaks. It used to feel weird if I didn't exercise twice in a day... 

But structured training can also be very limiting and restrictive if you want to have a life beyond training and racing. If you're type A like me, and can't imagine missing a workout our or cutting one short, then you'll constantly worry how and when you're going to fit your workouts in. If you don't have much else going on in your life, then hard core training is great for filling any voids and eating up a lot of your time. Also it's great to make a goal, work towards that goal, and complete that goal. Super fulfilling way to live.

I lived this life for about six or so years and I'm very glad I did. I learned a lot about discipline when it comes to workouts. I also learned about how workouts and training should be structured. I worked with a great coach that answered all of my frantic last minute questions.

But I wasn't seeing the race results I wanted (no fault to my coach, I just don't always perform the best on race day). It was tiring mentally to work so hard for so long for such a high goal only to miss it on the day it matters. But that's racing for ya, and I respect that, but I was getting a bit burnt out on the whole train hard, race hard cycle. Also since graduating from college and leaving my tri team, going to races by myself was super lonely.

So after a foray into marathons (again lots of hard long training to just miss my goals), mountain biking found me at the perfect time when I needed something new and exciting in my exercise life. Obviously this shift to the trails came with my soon to be husband Alex, and I no longer felt I had to fill voids in my life with exercising and I had someone else's schedule to work around. So I said goodbye and thank you to my coach and switched to casual training.

My definition of casual training is probably different (more intense) from most normal people: a goal of doing at least an hour of exercise (swimming, biking, running, strength) a day and something longer on the weekends, but not worrying when I do it, if I have to shorten it, or even (gasp!) missing it. And if I have a race coming up, I still do try to structure my training to get me more race ready.

My watch doesn't like how I'm currently training! I think this has something to do with me not running much right now and it messing up it's calculations. But I'm okay with it!

This way of training is so much more freeing! And somehow I'm still doing just as well, if not better, in races. Once I got away from the structure, I could really listen to my body to see what it waned (or didn't want) to do on a given day and adjust my workout appropriately. Feeling super tired on a ride? Cut it short. Feel like running all week? Go for it? Can't make it to the pool for a month? Don't worry about it! Super busy all day? Take a rest day!

Got first place in my age group (25-29) and 6 overall female at the Myrtle Beach Xterra Triathlon in April! And I didn't even do much serious training!

With casual training, I no longer have all this stress and guilt built up around workouts. But that doesn't mean I'm any less committed to it. (I still do start to go crazy if I want to work out but can't). I'm just committed in a different way that tries to put the rest of life first before training and racing.

I believe that training and racing should make you happy and be a stress reliever, not add stress to your life. So if you find yourself in the same training-racing cycle I was in, but not feeling very rewarded, then take a step back and ask yourself why you're doing it. If the answer's not fun, then you're doing something wrong! Go out for an unstructured swim, bike run, surf, hike, whatever and enjoy the workout for itself, for no other reason than that you are having fun doing it!


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Learning to (really) bike

My serious biking began with my dive into triathlons. As his midlife crisis, my dad started doing triathlons. I was very confused and unimpressed by the amount of gear and training that went into completing one. That all changed after my dad challenged me to do a free little local tri in the town over from us. Being the wonderful daughter I am, my response was "Okay Dad, I bet I can beat you!". This was summer of 2010. I had just graduated from high school, where I had spent my afternoons either playing soccer, lacrosse, or running indoor track. Athletics was not foreign to me, but besides organized sports, I was nothing more than a casual worker-outer.

I borrowed my mom's Specialized Hard Rock and helmet, grabbed my surfing wetsuit, and loaded up the car with my dad. Having grown up by the ocean, I was always comfortable in the water, but luckily, a few years ago, my dad taught me how to do a proper freestyle when I was doing a lifeguard certification course. The tri was super short - a maybe 1/4 mile swim (walk down the beach until someone says stop, jump in, and then swim back), 5 mile bike, and 2.5 mile run. I didn't beat my dad that day, but the triathlon bug got under my skin, and was there to stay.

The rest of the summer I spent occasionally training with my dad's training group. I'm not sure how I managed to do group road rides on my mom's Specialized, because that sounds miserable today, but I didn't know anything better then.

The next summer my dad got me a used road bike complete with aero bars and clipless peddles. Getting myself on that bike was a challenge in itself. I don't have an innate sense of balance on a bike, so trying to balance on something with skinny wheels and drop handlebars was so uncomfortable and strange. Needless to say I immediately swapped the clipless peddles for cages, but even that didn't prevent me hitting my dad at the end of our first ride when we were in between cars at a red light. Stopping and getting my feet on the ground was something I had to work on.

Getting myself to use the aero bars and clipless peddles didn't happen for another year or so. In the mean time, I had done two sprint distance tris and started training more seriously. I joined my college's tri team, found a coach, and really dove in. I loved the rides in the quiet and mountainy area around my college. I was getting more comfortable on my bike, my endurance was increasing, and loved pushing myself on my rides.

During this time, I learned how to put only one foot down when I came to a stop (I unclipped both feet for longer than I'd like to admit). I also no longer had blisters on my hands from breaking so much and gripping my handlebars so tightly. I could avoid potholes, remove one hand from my bars to signal or drink some water, and look over my shoulder, all without wiping out. Many of these things are probably skills most cyclists take for granted, but these were major accomplishments for me. My skinned knees were reminders of how far I'd come.

At the beginning of the bike leg of a triathlon, I tried to press lap on my watch, lost my balance, and tipped over. Balancing on a bike is hard...

Over the next several years, I did many sprint and olympic distance tris. When I upgraded to a tri bike, I had to relearn how to balance on a bike because the geometry was so different. My dad and I invented a sweet hydration system that had drink tubes running from my water bottles in the cages to my aero bars so I never had to get out of them during a race and risk loosing my balance. The uncomfortableness of riding slowly faded into memory as I kept road riding and racing tris. By the time mountain biking found me (I definitely did not seek it out), I was feeling super comfortable on the road, only to once again find myself relearning how to ride a bike for the fourth time in my life.